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Friday, April 29
crappy life
11:43:00 PM life is getting crappier..... is being almost 1 week and we still having cold war !!!!! arrghhxxxx .... when can i ever go home for dinner ??? i m getting seriously sick of outside food !!!! so many msg and is making mi thirsty all day long !!!! ARRRGGHHHXXX .... AND IS NOT GOOD FOR HEALTH .... think i will die earlier if i continue with this kind of lifestyle !!!! my hairs gotta drop and i gotta be bald soon !!!!! arrghhxxx .... met up with my bestie, zw after sch todae !!!! went lib and she borrowed those cook book saying she gotta cook for her mum on mother's day !!!!! so sweet !!! and she asked wat mi and my sis gotta do for our mum for mother's day .... my mind was blank .... all i know was my mum had disowned mi out of anger and till now she don wanna talk to mi !!!! oh fine .... wats the use of mother's day to mi now ?? is just a normal day !!!!! arrrghhxxxxx .... i m getting weaker each day !!!! *sad* Tuesday, April 26
All or nothing
11:49:00 PM cos i want it all or nothing at all !!!! maybe i m born greedy ... i want it all !! but things don always go the way u want it to be !!!! maybe sometime ... but well is the second day of our cold war .... i m feeling tired .... tears just cant flow out ... is just stuck somewhere !!! but i cant be affected by this cos i know i gotta concentrate on my studies !!!! diverting my attention to studies is never easy .... i m struggling !!!! can anyone just throw me a float cos i cant swim anymore !!! i m tired !!!! i wanna get out of this real world !!!! i admit i m a coward but i don wanna put on a strong front againz !!!! but i know i muz .... i m left on my own now ... no one can ever save mi !!!! onli me myself !!!! Sunday, April 24
Tired ....
10:42:00 PM m so tired ..... not physically but mentally !!!! i hate to convince myself again and again that my mum does treat mi like her daughter !!!! maybe she feels she does ... by buying all those things that i want is a way of showing she loved me !!! but wat i want is not this !!!! i can give up all this things but i realli wish that she can show her concern towards mi .... be more understanding .. just like how she treats my sis !!! arrghhxxx... had a quarrel with her todae .... and guess wat .. she disown me !!! oh well ... maybe is my fault to question her if she ever treat me like her daughter !!! and she even says is me who forced her to show favouritism towards my sis when i didnt even do anything to make her to do this !!!! m so tired of all this .... last time i will continue crying for almost the whole day but well todae ... i just cried for 5 mins and thats it !!! tears just dont seem to flow out !!!! think my eyes r too tired to cry too or maybe not enough water in my body to be converted to tears !!!! to think i can still crap now !!!! cos i m just too numb to all this ..... think shall stop here ... m so moody !!!! *sayo* Wednesday, April 20
i love Wednesday !!!
9:00:00 PM todae was kinda happie day for mi !!!! in the morning .... we had our bio test and guess wat ... the SEQ is an A level qns from Hong Kong !!! haha kinda interesting qns ... u really need to have lotsa understanding bout endocrine system and homeostatis in order to do it !!! well ... manage to do some qns but not all .... arrghhxxx ... guess i need to study harder for this topic =) anywayz ... met up with my yjc besties (limpy, ah jie, mx asyraf, xx) for a movie in town !!! i pon dance todae .... hohoho but well i promise not to do it again !!!! cos i realli miss the dance babes lotz ... we use to see one another 3 times a week but now only on wed since syf is over !!! boo hoo .... hope we can maintain our friendship !!! *love ur lotz* okay, back to the movie .... we went to watch Guess Who !!! is suppose to meet out with my sec sch pal (zw, sx, yx) this weekend but we cant decide on where to go so i decided to call it off !!! haiz ... m looking forward to meeting them ... is been so long since we crapz together ... but well ... lets hope we can realli meet up soon !!! *miss ur so much* anywayz .. guess i gotta be staying at home this weekend ... mugging !!! think i m becoming a study nerd soon !!!!! but cant be help !!! but anywayz .. who care if i become a study nerd !!! haha kk think i shall stop here gotta go bathe .... m so smelly now !!! *sayo* Monday, April 18
.........
8:28:00 PM too many things that i wanna say but i don know where can i start from ... things just start accumulating !!! tears is part of my everyday life !!!! i may look happie and cheerful outside but deep inside ... no one will ever understand how i feel !!!! neither do i know !!! i just know that it is terrible !!! things just dont go right from the beginning .... i tell myself to be strong but i feel weak inside !!! i dont know how long can i last !!! but i promise i will last for as long as i can !!! Saturday, April 16
Mixed feelings .....
12:23:00 PM ve being thinking bout lotsa stuffs recently ..... sad to say ... i still miss the past alot ... i miz my secondary sch days , my first three months in MI and blah blah !!!! i know i muz let go of the past and look forward ... but memories of the past just keep appearing in my mind !!!! anywayz ... just got my pw result todae ... it was better than i expected =) hard work realli paid off !!!! haha but not in all circumstances !!!! went to ajc for a science exhibition todae .... think our sch is realli getting better ... we got a gold for our research !!!! lolx ~~~~ think i gotta follow wat our principal always says, " Well done, yjc" haha think we r no longer the last jc .... so warning to all other jcs .... yjc is CATCHING UP !!!! lolx ~~~ i know i m so lame ... but well i sort of realise that yjc is not bad too except that our uniform is so er ..... was listening to radio when i came across these words said by a DJ ... he says if u r afraid to love someone .... u will be emotionless to all the things around you !!!! well i find it kinda true cos i realise i actualli fall under this category !!!! these words realli set mi thinking .... think i m too scare to ever love someone anymore ... can say that i m a coward !!! haha so meanz i gotta stay single for the rest of my life !!! kk think i m thinking too much ... but i realise that being single is also not a bad thing ... at least i like my life now .... i guess frenz and family r enough for mi !!! who cares if i ever love someone again !!!! lolx ~~~~ think i m crapping again !!!! oh well .... shall stop here ... will blog soon ... *sayo* Wednesday, April 13
tiring day
1:31:00 PM i m so dead tired !!!! syf is over ... and we got a silver ... haiz ... think dance babes r kinda disappointed !!! i cant help but start crying when i saw ling ling jess and muzi cried !!! i thought i can just surpress my emotions .... well think i realli cant !!! i will cry when i see other cries .. think i cry too easily!!! and guess wat ... my contact lens actualli went into my eyes .... *scary* fortunately it came out by itself !!!! anywayx .... i m sure we ve all tried our best !!!! just take it that the judges cant appreciate our dance .... and plz they realli cant !!!! anywayz ... no matter wat the award is .... at least in the process of it ... we gain experiences and most importantly ... we have built realli strong bond between all the dance babes and i think that is more worthwhile than a gold honour !!! so to all dance babes .... cheer up k .... continue to work hard for ur studies !!!! *huggies* kk .. think i better be mugging .... and slp early ... sch tmr ... *sayo* Tuesday, April 12
*Nervous*
12:59:00 PM guess time realli flies .... is gotta be our syf tmr !!!! i m so nervous !!! think all dance babes feel the same too .... haha had our last rehearsal todae .... think we did pretty well !!!! lolx ~~~~ realli hope everything will be fine !!!! to all dance babes ..... muz jia you k .. tmr lets be wild and remember to SMILEZ !!!! lolx ~~~ and the best way to smilez is to think of the R21 thingy ... lolx ~~~~ yuwei , lulu and jeannette ... ur will know wat i m talking bout !!!! haha anyway... lets strive for a gold ya!!!! *we can definitely make it !!!* think i better slp early... gotta be a tiring day tmr =) *god bless* ~sayo~ Friday, April 8
I HATE IT !!!!!
1:59:00 PM life just sux .... i seriously hate the way my life is now !!!! no life ... just nothing ... things just get from bad to worse ..... be it dance or studies !!! i m beginning to lose hope !!!! i don know y shld i ever go thru such a shit life when i can just quit sch and thats it !!!! dance ... our instructor and teachers r giving up on us at the moment when syf is less than one week away !!!! haiz ...... i don wanna all our efforts to go down the drain !!! all the dance babes ve worked hard for the past few months ... sometimes is the process that counts not the result !!!! for studies ... i ve mugged so hard for my chem and i flung my chem block test !!! *fuck* my results just sux ... how can i ever go into uni with such bad results ??? may as well quit sch now ... y waste the money to take the exam .... the exam fee cost a bomb plz !!!!! i just hate myself for not studying hard when i know i shld !!!!! esp when i ve given up someone that i cherish in return for my results ... and thats the results that i got .... damn .... i just hate my life now .... everything just don seem to go right !!!!! HATE IT HATE IT .... Tuesday, April 5
monday bluez ~~
1:59:00 PM ve being so busy for the past few days ... trying to finish loadz and loadz of homework .... esp gp ... 6 essay outlines ... and i onli started it on sat and is due todae !!! wooo ~~~ thank god that i managed to finish !!! is monday againz .. and as usual ... monday bluez !!!!! m so bored in sch ... praying hard time will pass realli fast !!! no life without all my funky frenz around ... *119'04 i miz ur lotz *.... hope we can just go back to the past !!! hardly see ur around in sch !!!! haiz ~~~~ why cant the sch just fit in my sub combi with theirs ??? why why why ??? bleahx .... anywayz ... dance was progressing realli well ... glad to hear that we have improved =) haha counting down to syf which is actualli on next tues ... dance babes ve realli worked hard for the past few months .... lets hope everything will go fine that day !!! *god bless* btw ... is being so long since i went out to have fun .... wanna catch lotsa movie and buy lotsa stuffs .... *shopping spreeeeeeeee* arrghhhxxx... think i realli love shopping ... i think every gal does rite ??? haha think i seriously need to find someone to chill out during this weekend ... i don wanna become a study nerd !!! no never ... lalala ... m looking towards to two things ... first ... gathering with my sec sch darlings (zw, sx, yx and evon) love u guys to bitz .... is being so long since we met out to go shopping and kbox ... haha shall go on our next outing k !!!! lolx ~~~ secondly .... it will be gathering with my first three months babes (jane.ml.candice.jamie) ... miz u guys lotz .... remember the good old days when we r slacking in e lib and running out of sch during lesson time !!!! lolx ~~~ see u guys soon =) kk ... think i better be mugging !!!! i must keep to my promise to work realli hard for A's !!!! work hard and play hard ... heez .... *ganbetta* ~sayo~ Friday, April 1
StresssssssssSSSSSSS
2:09:00 AM how stress can a person's life get ??? haiz ... m so stress with sch stuffs !!!! esp my dance .... sometime i realli hope i can dance the way jenny wanted mi to .... i ve tried but sometime realli not up to her expectation .... i m realli sorrie !!!! i dont mend to make anyone disappointed !!! i know i must try my best to dance well cos the other dance babes have worked so hard and i cannot just pull down our performance on the actual day !!!! o gosh .... m so lost now !!!! think i ve to try my best !!!! ;ets hope everything will turn out fine .... anywayz here's a quote that i find is kinda meanigful .... "the test of courage is to bear defeat without losing heart." Anonymous |
HELLO
May sunshine be with you
ME MYSELF I
Temperamental person with a complicated personality. A person whose cover doesn't match its content.
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